The Case for Justify

“I work with mice and I would rather die than work this job another year.”

“You’re not alone.”

“I had to personally euthanize each and every mouse/rat in my lab, having trouble coping.”

“I wish I had good advice but, as someone in the same boat, all I can say is we are in this in solidarity.”

“I just worked with lab rats for the first time, did retro-orbital and tail vein fluorescent injection. Not gonna lie, I tried so hard not to cry, even though they were under anesthesia with ketamine.”

“You're not too sensitive. You're human.”

Reddit is one of the only places where animal research industry professionals speak openly about the emotional toll of harming, killing, and struggling to provide care for animals slated to die. When the fear of retaliation drives workers to view anonymous online forums as the best outlet for their concerns, what does this reveal about an industry that prides itself on rigorous oversight, robust ethical review process, and mental health resources for employees?

During my undergraduate studies, I spent two years as a caretaker at one of the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s primate research laboratories. This experience was profoundly impactful, leaving me disheartened and with PTSD.

I was 20 years old when a newborn rhesus monkey had a seizure and died in my hands. The day before, I had walked into work and discovered another rejected newborn, lifeless in an incubator. In a single weekend, I placed the bodies of these two newborns inside biohazard bags and into a freezer. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.

When a coworker and I were tasked with removing a dead baby from their mother’s arms because she refused to put the limp infant down, I was struck by the mother’s apparent grasp of the situation. Inside a carrying cage lined up securely to a tabletop restraint, she clung tightly to her baby.

We opened the carrier’s door and offered her a marshmallow treat. She stepped forward, took the treat, and retreated back into the cage—still holding her baby. We tried again. She ate the marshmallow and retreated—still clutching her infant. A third time, the same. 

But on the fourth offering, the mother came forward and, instead of taking the marshmallow, she gently laid her baby down, placing her lips to her infant’s forehead before retreating into the cage–this time without the marshmallow and without her baby. 

There was no doubt in my mind that the mother let her baby go because she understood the futility of resisting what we represented. She submitted to us out of resignation rather than because she was ready.

Once again, I placed a newborn monkey inside a biohazard bag and into a freezer.

“Animals don’t grieve exactly like we do, but this doesn’t mean that their grief isn’t real. It is real, and it’s searing, and we can see it if we choose.” - Dr. Barbara J. King

Art by Leo Balik

I struggled to reconcile my love of animals with the unspoken lessons of the lab: that lives are expendable and immense suffering is justified by the mere possibility of scientific progress. I knew that caring too much could earn me the label of "activist"—a term I didn’t associate with myself at the time.

In the lab, trust was fragile, uncertainty was constant, and fear, isolation, and silence were the norm. And so it’s no surprise that many turn to anonymous Reddit forums as their safest outlets. But I also know that Reddit is not enough.

Open, fearless dialogue about the ethics of animal research—and the deep psychological toll it takes on lab workers—is essential for the well-being of both humans and animals, and for the integrity and progress of science itself.

After years of silence, I connected with Dr. John Gluck, author of Voracious Science & Vulnerable Animals: A Primate Scientist’s Ethical Journey. His support and validation were empowering, giving me the courage to share my experiences in the primate lab on social media—an act that ultimately led to me winning a free speech lawsuit against my alma mater for censoring me.

As I spoke out, messages of support poured in, including one from my former colleague at the Wisconsin lab, Samantha Issleb. She later shared her story in a guest blog for Rise for Animals. 

Samantha concluded the blog, “Thank you for reading. I was inspired to come forward and share my experience because of another University of Wisconsin student and Harlow lab caretaker, Maddie Krasno. Maddie’s bravery despite the attempts by UW-Madison to silence her, made me realize how important it was for me to come forward.” 

During our time in the lab, neither of us knew the other was struggling. The silence that kept us isolated then is the very thing Justify is working to break now.

Justify is founded and run by former lab workers who experienced firsthand the comfort of confiding in each other about their shared background. We are a groundbreaking organization that provides a safe and supportive space for those grappling with the emotional burden of animal research, empowering them to share their experiences and advocate for change, and we are the only organization in the world focused on the human cost of animal experimentation and the uniquely intimate, often painful bond between lab workers and the animals they try to care for.

We are so inspired by laboratory workers who have connected with us and chosen to break their silence and stop suffering alone. Recently, a former research assistant and a former graduate student, both in primate research, joined Dr. Gluck and myself in being interviewed for a Vox Piece about the psychological impact of animal research on the humans involved. The former graduate student had this to say afterwards: 

“I just finished reading the Vox article by Celia Ford, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you. If it weren’t for you sharing this opportunity and encouraging me, I don’t think I would have spoken up… Seeing everything laid out in the article and realizing how many of us share these experiences has been both validating and eye-opening. A central theme of the article was isolation and numbness, but bringing so many voices together to expose the realities of lab animal research helped shine a light on what’s often kept in the dark. This was my first time speaking out publicly, and I was definitely nervous, but I’m glad I did, especially since they did a great job keeping me anonymous. Thank you for always being such a strong advocate. It truly means a lot and fuels my own fire to keep fighting!”

If ever there was a case for Justify, this is it.

Note: This is an updated version of a blog originally published on Johns Hopkins University’s ToxBlog.